today was my weekly off.....so what did i do?

well...i woke up late....made myself a neat cup of horlicks (i still like it)...and then checked out on sandeep...he was sleeping as usual...he had had his first night shift of the week....and since there was no one else i wanted to meet....i came to town...sat in front of the pc in a very stuffy cafe....and here i am writing my blog after a long long time....

of course coming to the "town" has its own advantages.....i can be all by myself....i dont really have to adhere to any rules....and then the sound of the sea....all around...slowly drowning your senses like a stone drowning in a thick syrup....and the salty smell of the spray....no i did not see the sea today...nor do i intend to...the sea here is tied up by fishing nets....tamed by the endless ships and trawlers...the beach dirty with people and houses....but when i do not see it all....and only hear the roar harkening in the background....it stirs something inside of me...something so ancient...it is not possible to name it....

funny...language is supposed to give us the freedom of expression....but all it ever does is to restrain us with tame trained words and ties us down with correct grammar.....proper usage and a million other excuses

so what did i do today?

when i felt hungry....i went out and had my lunch....and then i could see a storm gathering....its a rare sight in here...it rarely rains in here as a matter of fact....i could not pass the temptation...i just wandered away on the streets...getting drenched...smelling the drops falling from my hair onto my face.... i have always had a fetish for water....and now since there was no one around to censure....... i could give away to my self....

and then when the rain stopped, i was in front of the cathedral in here....so why not go in? ....i had been yearning to go somewhere solitary....why i do not know; nor do i care to know. only i wanted some place silent....peaceful

i was disappointed...whatever i was seeking was not to be found in here in this cathedral...it was empty enough.....but no..... it was as though hollow....no soul in it....or maybe it is just me....

so here i am back again to the same cyber cafe....pouring myself out in my blog for everybody who cares to read....

its all in the game!!!

my durga puja

it has been a long while....and i realized it only after dubari asked me if i have stopped blogging....funny...that also made me realize that she must have been checking my blog after all...

durga puja went by without i even realizing it did so....i am as far away from home as i possibly could be while still in india....puja....no getting up at 5:00 in the morning for mahalaya this time...no shopping for new clothes...or choosing sarees for my mother....no smell of the coral jasmine flooding the morning mists....and no meeting up with old friends and planning out for the day...all thats passe....

durga puja this time went away while i was working like a bull in my plant....trying to match the daily stock...shouting after erring labourers....trying to solve the problems my project is facing...and then coming back to the hostel and dropping dead on the bed....

durga puja just went away this time...

rajbir smsed me a "shubho bijoya" and of course i called almost everyone i should and wished them the same...

only this time for the first time perhaps i realized how much it meant to me...for this time the only durga i saw was on the news paper...

shubho bijoya