sent mails...

today the pressure was a bit less on my plant....all the machines were working fine. so i decided to take a small break and check my mailbox in a rather detailed fashion.....this i had not been able to do for quite a while now....

fortunately or unfortunately i cannot say, but in a completely freak whim, i decided to check the sent mails folder.....and i stirred the hornets' nest of memories....

who'd have thought that the yahoo saved the sent mails right till over 5-6 years back???

at least i had not....

but they do. so i was left looking at mails i had sent to all the people i had known over these years....some who have become close friends....some who had come close and then have gone away....and some who have just gone away....

there were these mails to the sister of a good friend of mine....i had met her when i'd gone over to their place and had stayed for a couple of days....she is one of the most charming girls i've met....and real funny too...and we had talked about books....and poetry....and about her kid brother...and future and so much more....and i had known...if i had a sister, i'd have wanted someone like her....and then we had mailed one another for a while....and then stopped....and i don't even remember her name right now.....and i'm out of touch with her brother too even though i have his mobile number...sad....right???

and then there were those mails to long forgotten chat friends....of girls i'd dated once..or maybe twice....mails to some school friends...who i have absolutely no idea whatsoever of at present

and yeah...there were these mails to this guy who had sent me a mail by mistake coz he wanted to send a mail to another abhijit deb roy, we too exchanged a couple of mails.....and then it stopped.

and those " hey how are you doing? i am doing fine....see you later" mails to countless number of people....

and that one mail to a friend who broke my heart....asking him never to contact me and wishing him luck...

so many things have changed in the past six years.....

i deleted those mails though, they still retain some sort of power over me...they still make me feel good, and sad....they still have the power to hurt me....

and i have stopped using that email address.